Saturday, August 21, 2010
Corn flakes...
Adam and I have never been apart from each other for more than a few hours.... never spent a night away from each other. If I read that about someone else I would think that it was a bit weird and psychotic. Swim Fan psychotic. Buffalo Bill psychotic. IT COMES HOME EVERY NIGHT OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN. Adam recently went out of town for a week. Which meant that I was pouting for six days and writing corney ass stuff like, "heartsick and pathetically so..."
Seriously?
I'm not a corny person in any sence of the word. Remember when Titanic came out? My group of Bulldog friends and I all went to see it. I didnt cry at the end (in fact I laughed when the guy falls and hits the propeller) so my friends wouldnt talk to me for a few days. Because I didnt cry during Titanic. Yeah.
I also didnt cry when my kids were born. Cause they were covered in nasty white candinda crap. I watched "A Baby Story" when I was pregnant with both of them. Every mom on there was crying, laughing and couldnt wait to hold their little bundle of... snot. THEN!! AND THEN!! They always friggin kiss it! They kiss it when it is covered with white nastyness, blood and tidbits. eh. So here I am thinking you are supposed to kiss this lil thing and that "Mother-ness" will over come me and I will not mind the nasty nasty nom nom. Well, with Mason I lucked out and they had to whisk him to the NICU before I had the head-kiss-dilema. But with Marlee? That lil brat. They threw her on my tummy and told me to hold her.
I. just. gave. birth.
You think I want to hold 7 lbs?
No. I want cranberry juice.
Lots.
Its a diuretic, ya know.
ANYWAY.
Here I am thinking I am supposed to kiss her head and it will all be good and we will bond and it wont smell or anything.
Let me just reiterate. I AM NOT A CORNY PERSON.
I pressed my lips to The Beavs head.
Ew.
Friggin ew.
I think the worst part was that it was warm.
What will it be like for my kids to grow up with a mom who doesnt cry? (Well, thats not entirely true. I bawled like a baby when dumbledore died... and when I finished Book 7).
Moms are supposed to be nurturing and soft spoken. They make cupcakes and cookies. I make EVERYTHING dirty. Just look at our daughters nickname. I make Mason wear a shirt with a cartoon beaver on it because I think its funny that nobody will get that he is wearing a BEAVER. Even better the beaver shirt has two logs on it. Its a very ambitious beaver.
Which was my nickname in highschool.
What was my point? Oh yeah. Im not corny except when it comes to my husband. But what can I say? He's friggin hot.
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Lol I just read thus out loud to my husband and he almost spit his frosted flakes out lol. You are a very funny girl lmfao happy new year to u and ur fam xo. Steph Mende ( harwood ;)
ReplyDeletei did that too... think chicks were weird when their men were gone for a day or two... seriously? i dated a fireman, he was gone for weeks at a time...
ReplyDeletethen came toby. he went on a hunting trip for two and a half weeks, and i almost went crazy. haven't been more than a night apart since.
"Not to spoil it for you guys, but I heard the boat sinks and they all die at the end."
ReplyDeleteI love you.
It's about time you slut....don't act like your busy raising kids and shit
ReplyDeleteSteph- Thanks! Same to you!
ReplyDeleteRaiz- Its really quite distgusting. IT is a scientific fact that you become addicted to your significant others sperm... maybe that has something to do with it...
Ash- Hahaha Did I say that? Sounds like something I would say. GOD you guys were SO friggin mad at me.
Madd- You are a slamhole. Also, look who commented on my post!!! Accidental Olympian!!! OMG!!! A celebrity!!! Are we still going to stalk her hotel room when she comes to the valley?! You are a re-tard.
Hey skeez, I am not a ra-tard...I can sign the whole alphabet, and you are a stalker too, but I totally don't want to stalk Allie anymore, she is no fun now. I quit her. Also, take a ride on my suck stick. K bye
ReplyDelete