Life Lesson # 88

Life lesson #88

Never ask your kid to draw you, thinking it will boost your self esteem... cause it won't.

Mason is a king... even his toy bags are Royal.

Dear Mason-
I regret to inform you that you will not be able to take your toys to daycare... like that. Feel free to transfer your toys OUT of the Crown Royal Bag at your convenience... then we will talk. Thanks! You're a doll... Love Mommy

Did you know they sell condoms at Costco? Cause they do. Right in between the vagisil and pregnancy tests.

You think I'm kidding but I'm not.

If I was kidding I would have organized it: vagisil, pregnancy tests, THEN condoms.

I'm sure a man set it up… put the penis item between two vagina items.

Ptch.

That’s profiling.

Apparently not all Costcos rival their local planned parenthood. Just the ones that are in farm towns.

(read: lots of migrant workers.)

(And before you go there, I did NOT say Mexicans. You thought of that yourself. You racist.)

So anyway, Adam recently found out he is part Jew so has decided to be a bit more frugal.

I can say that ‘cause I'm married to one.

So we started buying condoms at Costco.

Trash.

The coolest thing about buying prophylactics in bulk would be that they come in a commemorative tin. So you can start a collection.

If sex isn’t a big enough motivator to buy more condoms.

So as with anything shiny and new, and being part ferret, Meathead asks if he can have the tin… and being the generous parents we are, we oblige.

Add that to the fact that Adam and I were on a Crown Royal diet for much of the time we were first dating and we have ourselves quite the menagerie of toy organizing tools.

Anything with a motor goes into a Crown Royal bag. Anything with a heart beat or used to create works of art goes into a Durex box.

I'm thinking of changing this set up though…

Cause honestly? I don’t think it is at all responsible to have motorized vehicles in alcohol bags. I am the product of 90’s after school specials.

Though it could be just as reckless to put the plastic animals in the Royal bags AWAY from the condom tin… cause those rabbits? SLUTS!

What do you guys think?

Shall I add this to the list of future discussions Mason will have with his therapist in which she will blame the mother?

*Side note: How much do you love that there is a black stallion and a beaver in the above pic? That kids makes life soooo easy.