Corn flakes...

Adam and I have never been apart from each other for more than a few hours.... never spent a night away from each other. If I read that about someone else I would think that it was a bit weird and psychotic. Swim Fan psychotic. Buffalo Bill psychotic. IT COMES HOME EVERY NIGHT OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN. Adam recently went out of town for a week. Which meant that I was pouting for six days and writing corney ass stuff like, "heartsick and pathetically so..."
Seriously?
I'm not a corny person in any sence of the word. Remember when Titanic came out? My group of Bulldog friends and I all went to see it. I didnt cry at the end (in fact I laughed when the guy falls and hits the propeller) so my friends wouldnt talk to me for a few days. Because I didnt cry during Titanic. Yeah.
I also didnt cry when my kids were born. Cause they were covered in nasty white candinda crap. I watched "A Baby Story" when I was pregnant with both of them. Every mom on there was crying, laughing and couldnt wait to hold their little bundle of... snot. THEN!! AND THEN!! They always friggin kiss it! They kiss it when it is covered with white nastyness, blood and tidbits. eh. So here I am thinking you are supposed to kiss this lil thing and that "Mother-ness" will over come me and I will not mind the nasty nasty nom nom. Well, with Mason I lucked out and they had to whisk him to the NICU before I had the head-kiss-dilema. But with Marlee? That lil brat. They threw her on my tummy and told me to hold her.
I. just. gave. birth.
You think I want to hold 7 lbs?
No. I want cranberry juice.
Lots.
Its a diuretic, ya know.
ANYWAY.
Here I am thinking I am supposed to kiss her head and it will all be good and we will bond and it wont smell or anything.
Let me just reiterate. I AM NOT A CORNY PERSON.
I pressed my lips to The Beavs head.
Ew.
Friggin ew.
I think the worst part was that it was warm.

What will it be like for my kids to grow up with a mom who doesnt cry? (Well, thats not entirely true. I bawled like a baby when dumbledore died... and when I finished Book 7).
Moms are supposed to be nurturing and soft spoken. They make cupcakes and cookies. I make EVERYTHING dirty. Just look at our daughters nickname. I make Mason wear a shirt with a cartoon beaver on it because I think its funny that nobody will get that he is wearing a BEAVER. Even better the beaver shirt has two logs on it. Its a very ambitious beaver.
Which was my nickname in highschool.

What was my point? Oh yeah. Im not corny except when it comes to my husband. But what can I say? He's friggin hot.

A Look Behind the Scenes...

Dear Mason-
Mommy can't play with you right now... I have to write about you on my blog... Thanks! You're a doll. Love, Mommy


THIS is why I shouldnt have a blog... I have written like, 10 posts since my last... I just havent posted them cause, you know, they arent finished. What can I say... I get sidetracked easily. SQUIRREL! I have been READING quite a few blogs. Which should really count somewhere on the blogger totem pole. One of my faves?

http://www.accidentalolympian.com/the-accidental-olympian/2010/04/windupgirl-give-away.html

Check it out... leave a comment and possibly win some amazing earings! (Is the link not working? Ive been trying to get it to work for like, 10 min. But I cant. SQUIRREL!!! Copy and paste it. Go on! You can do it. It's well worth the added effort of 2 mouse clicks).

I have noticed through my perusing of other blogs that most writers have code names for everyone in their lives. This, along with being sexy and mysterious, allows a certain level of annonymity so you can write even more in detail without people getting mad at you. Or your in-laws knowing exactly whats going on. God forbid they find out I have a blog in the first place. But thats a blog in itself. (Hmmmm a few prospective titles if I start a blog going THAT route: "Living With Lady Macbeth"... "Out Damn Spot! You too Daughter In-law"... "Smile Or I'll Kill You"... "Can I Just Speak To You in the Other Room: and other ways to Manipulate Your Daughter In-Law").
What do you know... I've gotten off subject. SO anyway. Code names. Here's a little key to help you keep track so far.

Mason's alias': Meathead, Kid, Luitenant Head, Mase-Face, Bacon, Rooster.
Marlee's alias': Beaver, Lil Bitch, Hey You, pokey-mcpokester
Adam: MacDaddy, Handsome, Captain Sexypants, All-That-Is-Man, Husband Unit.

Other helpful hints for reading my blog:

1) I don't like most people. As such, most people are collectively refered to as "undesirables."
2) Undesireables 1-3 refer to inlaws.
3) Should also clarify Adam recently met his birth mother, who technically is an in-law but does not fit in the undesireable catagory. If memory serves we were making blowjob jokes with-in 5 min of meeting each other. Cleary she is in the awesome catagory.

That should help for now...
Also, have found myself sensoring my writing which feels really gross. Will hence forth write as I speak which is how I think. Which will probably include things squirting, leaking, oozing etc.

You've been warned... or intrigued. One of the two.